Who are The Others on Lost?

The Coconut Diet at work.


Ok, I can’t take full credit for this discovery; its seed really goes to Kevin Jenne, my co-host on Outside the Artists Studio Podcast (http://www.outsidepodcast.com/).

If you watch Lost, you must know that the storyline is quite confusing. It is not a show where you can watch episodes here and there, but one needs to watch them in order. Characters are inter-related, strange coincidences abound, and then there is the mystery of the hatch.

We have some strange things happening on this island.

We have a doctor that has access to golf clubs, but rarely goes golfing.
We have a huge dude that never loses weight (we all know how fattening coconuts are).
We have Locke who was refused for survival camp who suddenly becomes Rambo (without a kidney).
We have a pregnant woman/new mother that only a druggie rock star wants.
We have a strange French woman wandering around with ammo.
The only sex on the island seems to be between a fighting couple, who is no longer shooting blanks (oops…update…now you have sex and you die Episode 20).
We have a Commodore 64 attached to the counter from the Deli (now serving 108.00).
Where did the polar bear go?
Where did all those scary noises and monsters in the forest go? Everyone is hiking all over the island now.


Now we get to the others…(BTW, I have not yet seen the finale)

Little is known about them. But Kevin has it all figured out. Please read no further if you can’t handle the truth!

Who are the others? They are none other than Gilligan and the Skipper. After all the sexual tension between Marie Anne & Ginger and the professor not getting any, he went nuts and started the Dharma Initiative, the love pad to seduce one or both of the girls. Oh, they thought he was working on making electricity from a coconut, but he was ordering off eBay all the supplies he needed to make his bachelor pad, the only place to get funky on the island. You know he got the radio working day one, but he knew that if they got rescued, he was back to celibacy, without having any further shots at the girls. Slowly, he built the hatch, and was waiting for the Barry White records he ordered when the Howes stumbled on his plan. Knowing the he could not keep them quiet, and his Paypal account was getting pretty low, he made them disappear, and replenished his account. His only other rivals where now the Skipper and Gilligan. Feeding them spiked bananas, he tried to poison them, but instead, they turned into zombies who walked off into the jungle. The professor was now alone with the girls. He made his move, told them that he named a star after them, and invited them to come to his look-out to see it. They both fell for the age old trick, and not 10 feet before the hidden opening to the hatch (Barry White, soft lighting, along with pre-mixed Martinis were waiting), the Skipper jumps out of the jungle and takes a bite out of Ginger (he always did like that spice). Gilligan followed and bit Mary Anne (he always liked country). The professor tried to run, but being behind the computer all the time does not make one athletic. All four zombies feasted on the pasty white professor, never knowing that just a couple feet away from them, the hatch lay in waiting, where they could get a much needed shower (especially the Skipper, who seems to sweat more as a zombie than normal. This issue became a bone of contention between him and Ginger, eventually causing Ginger to question their hope for a stable relationship.). Now Gilligan and Mary Anne where the hot little pair, and created a whole army of “others.” They had Mary Anne’s good looks, and Gilligan’s brain. Years later, Gilligan and the Skipper, having survived both women heard a loud explosion. Yes, they had visitors from the sky. They decided that they did not want to share their coconuts and started hunting again. Now we have an army of “others” led by the cranky old duo of Gilligan and the Skipper.

Ahh…it all makes sense now. I mean come on; the captured “other” did resemble Gilligan, no?