Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Genius Bar doesn't have happy hour.

Confession: I'm a Mac fanboy. I'm a Dell reseller, but for myself...it's all MAC baby!

What's not to love! The style, the simplicity, the design all speak to me. All is perfect, till something breaks.

I love the concept of the genius bar - an assortment of clone-like geeks ready to answer your questions, unlock the Mac secret key combinations that will revive your unit or perform a repair.
The experience begins with the walk up the glass castle stairs. With each step, your head gets a little lighter, as the altitude (or is that attitude) kicks in. With my broken laptop, I go up to the Genius Bar. All the stools are taken by Macoholics who are just trying to get some attention from the Genius Bartender. Oh? I need to make a reservation? I have to see a Concierge? What is this, a hotel? The Concierge informs me that I can schedule a 15 minute Genius Bar session, but they are currently overloaded, so it will be in a couple of days. Arrive early, so you can wait, but don't arrive late, because we don't wait for you!

Walking back down the glass stairs, getting glassy stares from the Macbots working the floor, I leave feeling dry and unsatisfied.

Two days later, I enter the Mac Store again, this time with the knowledge that I will be served a cool one (cool Macspert with clammy hands). I am 15 minutes early according to the rules. The wait is longer because of the anticipation. Finally, an Apple appointed Genius invites me to the bar. He inspects my Macbook and it's clear that the hard drive is defective, but under warranty. Great! I will just leave the laptop here, pick it up when it's done, right? NO. I am informed that I have to leave again with my defective Macbook and wait by the phone till this Genius calls me to let me know when the part will come in.

At this point, I can only compare this to going to a restaurant.
"Do you have a reservation, sir?"
"No, but I'm here, I can wait a little."
"Please see our hostess and she can help you make a reservation."
"But I'm hungry now!"
"You can eat in two days."
Two days later.
"Do you have a reservation, sir?"
"Yes, yes, yes...please let me eat, I'm so hungry!"
"Please sit down sir, what would you like to eat?"
"Can I have the steak?"
"I'm sorry, although most of our customers order steak, we don't have any in stock. Please leave, and we will call you when your steak is ready. Goodbye!"

Second time at the Genius Bar, and it's NOT happy hour. I leave again, unsatisfied, to wait on the phone for them to get a hard drive...one of the most replaced parts on a laptop no less! What has this cost me so far? I've spent $12 on parking (2 x $6), and wasted half an hour the first time, three quarters of an hour the second time. This does not include the time it took to get there, find parking, and return to my work.

Of course, but the time my "steak" came, I was out of the country, so I'm still stuck with a dead Macbook. I will have to repeat the procedure again on my next return because after a few days, they will ship the "steak" back to the mother-ship.

Honestly...it doesn't take a GENIUS to figure out that this BAR is not working. I could have gone down the street with my broken Macbook, had a pint of Guinness and I would have ended up with the same result, although I would feel satisfied and refreshed.
Next time your Macbook breaks down, visit a local Pub...the Genius Bar doesn't have happy hour!


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